Two weeks my mom was in the hospital for what we thought was a stroke. She was really far away visiting one of my sisters, so I was feeling kinda down. I called the two giants to come console me over a few cocktails that night.
I just kinda didn’t want to think about things.
So I drink alone for an hour or two until they get off work and they show up, but man they just wanted to talk about themselves. The truth is I probably wouldn’t have called them at all except I just needed someone to drink with on a Monday and most people I know are trying to lead responsible lives right now. Not that that’s my thing at all!
So we have some drinks etc and I end up back at theirs. Both separately inform me at this point that I’m sleeping on the couch. I’ve slept in both of their beds multiple times and I actually wasn’t really pushing to bang. I mean I was genuinely upset. The thing is I’m not the kind of man who sleeps on a girls couch anymore. That guy just doesn’t exist here.
So I called a cab and I rolled out of there. They straight up pushed against one of my boundaries and I will not have a girl in my life who thinks I’m couchworthy. You must be joking.
Recently I had a similar issue with boundaries with someone over a work issue. I had to be extremely firm and explain what my boundaries are and that I will not cross them or allow them to be broken, even for financial gain.
If you constantly let people move your barriers, whether they strorm through like a German blitzkrieg or instead use a battle of inches like on my Date with an Author, you will end up with exactly no territory. People have a natural inclination to treat you like crap if you allow them to. The moment someone stops respecting you, you have lost everything.
So start taking yourself and your boundaries seriously. Decide what you will and will not accept in your life, at work and with your friends. You will see major differences.