What if she has a boyfriend?

I finished a photo shoot for my new book with a stunning model on Thurdsay.  After the shoot I sat down and interviewed her for about 20 minutes about what she saw me teaching and how it is being a stunning girl.  If she isn’t your dream girl then she’s pretty damn close.

In the first clip I want to show you Jackie talks about when men tell her they have a goldfish after she says she has a boyfriend.  This is a line that one of the bigger dating companies teaches.

As you can see this is a perfect example of what not to do.  You have turned a friendly chat into something combative.  As soon as you make your snarky comment she wants you gone.

What a waste of time and effort.  Why upset a pretty girl for no reason.  You know that models are friends with other models.  Beautiful girls tend to know other beautiful girls.  So why cut yourself out of the frame.  It’s time to stop using weak lines.

If she has a boyfriend just ask what his name is.  If she doesn’t really have one, this will short circuit her normal shield and get you into real conversation.  If she does have a boyfriend you can find out how he got her.  That is invaluable intel sucker!!!!

View the original article here

One Good Dating Tip: Take The Spotlight!

In socializing, and in particular with women, you have to be willing to take up space. 

Being confident enough to take the spotlight for a minute or two is strong and healthy.  You must be willing to do this.  In the beginning, it might be uncomfortable but it does improve over time.  You have a right to be on this planet, going for what you want, so don’t be scared to take up some space in a conversation.

I had to get used to the feeling of panic, nerves, anxiety and the like while telling a story, or flirting, or baiting…to get GOOD at that skill.  If you lack social experience, it will feel very weird and awkward to take up space socially.  You must get used to this. 

Practice, practice, practice…

ddddd

View the original article here

Are You A Force, Or A Consequence?

Big question today.
People are either one, or the other.  Are you one who initiates, begins, imposes, imagines, creates, acts, DOES?
Or, are you one who responds, reacts, cowers, shifts, pulls back, refrains, regrets and puts off?
Do you suffer from the disease of “tomorrow”?  ie:
I’ll do it tomorrowIt can wait til tomorrowIt will be simpler tomorrowI’ll feel better/like it tomorrowI’ll go talk to her tomorrow
Well, what is it?
One of my favorite topics here is “having a purpose” in life.  In fact, as I am now rewriting my eBook “How To Get A Girlfriend” into a 4th Volume, I am particularly happy with the “purpose” section.
To pursue a purpose is the BEING of attraction.  Fully engaged in something outside of yourself, some goal or aim, harnesses a man’s energy and focuses his life and lifestyle.  A woman can sense this.  She knows it within seconds of meeting you.
A man on a mission can be trusted, a man who isn’t, cannot.  A man with an aim is empowered and engaged, a man who isn’t is needy and small.
Life is short.  It takes balls to live the life you deeply feel is your own. It’s OK to be afraid.  It’s not OK to let it win, or much less, let it win day, by day, by day, by day, by day…
It is a question of carving out some space of your own or morphing yourself into the tiny space given.
You are either a force, or a consequence.  What are you?

One Good Dating Tip: When To Say “Can I Buy You A Drink?”

If a woman smiles at you from across the room, how do you approach her?  She’s practically SCREAMING for you to come and talk to her.  But, what is NOW the best way to begin the conversation?

Before you even begin to move towards her, remember to keep it simple and never do more than you really need to do.

Use the E/S opener.

The Environmental/Situational opener (E/S) is where we approach a woman with a rather simple question which can possibly lead to a longer, more interesting conversation.  Some examples:

Nice bag, is that a new Gucci?Do you like this painting?Wow, that dance floor is packed!Boy this line is taking forever.Can I buy you a drink? (yes, you can say it…if she gives you a strong signal of interest…happy now?)

The structure:

Notice the environment and pull a relevant question or comment from it that you pose to her.  The ONE thing you know that you have in common with her currently is the CONTEXT of your surroundings.  So, start from there.  Simple and easy (as it should be).

If you are a physically attractive guy, this might be all you need to do at ANY point EVER socially.  Or, if she gives you a big smile, or other obvious signal from across the room, then approaching with an E/S opener is BEST.

Remember, never do more than you need.  If you have a strong “gut” feeling that she’s into you pose an E/S opener to her.

The E/S skill gets a lot of criticism as it is rather plain and unflashy.  But, if she gives you a strong signal of interest, why would you do more?  In other words, this CAN be a very effective skill, if used at the right time…

Stephen Nash

View the original article here

Project Hollywood (VIDEO): From Mel’s To Mayhem

The First PUA Summit, Project Hollywood, Spring 2004

I was recently in LA, staying with my friend Cameron Teone, and we HAD to return to the Sunset Strip and revisit Project Hollywood.

While we were dining at Mel’s (where else?) we got the idea to quickly film the walk from the diner, up the hill, to the house.  Often, we would have girls at the diner, and would “pull” (ugh) them to the house…I’ll let you figure out the rest from there.

Anyway, this little video shows the route from Mel’s to Project Hollywood.  For fans of “The Game” this should fill-in some visual blanks for you.

Enjoy!

View the original article here

My Interview on the Barry Kirkey Radio Show

So, yesterday (May 13), I caught up with my old friend Barry Kirkey on his online radio show.  The chat lasted for about 45 minutes. 

He gets me to divulge the backstory of my breakup last year – which might be interesting to you.  I talk about the “scene” in the home we shared when I returned from a business trip.  It wasn’t pretty.  We talk a bit about “Suicide Girls” (and why you should not date a Suicide Girl…) and other stuff.

We also dish about old tales from Project Hollywood (of course), Tony Robbins and poke a little fun at those who need it. 

Enjoy – you can find it here:

Stephen Nash on the Barry Kirkey Radio Show

Have an awesome weekend…

Sn.

View the original article here

One Good Dating Tip: Enlist A BFFF

By now you should know that planning parties, events and outings is the BEST way to meet women (didn’t know that?  Read “How To Get A Girlfriend” ).  For the *BEST* results you need to enlist a partner in “social” crime…

Your BFFF

Your BFFF=Best Female Friend…”Forever” (sorry, had to).

If you want to truly reach the highest of social heights, you need to enlist a hip, plugged-in woman to help you grow your social circle. It’s not “required”, but it does make a HUGE difference.

Ask yourself: If you received an invitation from “Joey” or from “Joey and Marie”, which would intrigue you more? If you knew a party was being thrown by both “Paul” AND “Vanessa”, wouldn’t it cause you to want to go MORE? Sure it would.

Why?

Women follow women, and men also follow women. Sure, some will come to your event and/or outing and sure, you can meet a lot of women without the BFFF. But, if you want to exponentially improve your social circle, social life and dating life…GET A BFFF.

Some rules for enlisting a BFFF:

Never hit on her;Never hit on her friends (with an exception, I will explain);Throw her some love by getting cool guys to come to the events/parties/outings (you scratch her back, she’ll scratch yours).

If she feels like she can meet cool guys in your circle, she will want to stay. As important, if she feels like the guys in your circle are cool and won’t make her or her friends uncomfortable, she will invite her attractive friends along.

All you need to do to cement her as the BFFF is do an event/outing together. Then, when it rocks (as it will), you say:

“Hey, let’s do this monthly – this was really fun”

And presto, you have yourself a BFFF.

Finally, if she invites a friend along that you want to meet…do it through the BFFF. Do NOT hit on her directly. Say something like:

“Your friend Alison is cute. I’d like to meet her. Do you mind if I intro myself or is it better through you?”

Yes, the honest route is best here. Your BFFF will have your back and make it happen. Women LOVE setting their female friends up with cool guys. Secure your partner in crime, and ride the fast track to some serious dating success.

Sn.

View the original article here

The Ultimate First Impression

I’ve posted a new video over on my “How To Get A Girlfriend” eBook blog which I call “The Ultimate First Impression”.

In it I cover A LOT, but these 3 primary concepts are the major focus:

1) My Baiting Skill – dissected, demonstrated and taught…to YOU;

2) High Social Value – I redefine “value” and share how to build the REAL thing (easier than you think);

3) The Ultimate First Impression – what it is, and how to get it, counter-intuitive as usual.

Enjoy!

One Good Dating Tip: Her “Approach Me” Signals

Most women will not approach you. You “get” that, right?

But, they WILL give you signals, or “indicators” of interest. In this day and age it is somewhat taboo for a woman to overtly indicate her interest to a man. However, there are ‘ways’ she can signal you to approach her.

Some of these are obvious, and some are very subtle. But all should be known by a guy who is looking to meet more women.

One caveat: if a woman does NOT provide you with one of these, it doesn’t now mean you have an excuse NOT to approach her (I know all of the loopholes).

My list (Got your own?  Please add in the comments below):

Looks at you a bit longer than is “usual”Looks back to you more than once – the classic “double-take”Smiles at you (duh)Goes out of her way for you to notice her (walks past your table, when there are more direct ways to where she is going)Within her locale, shifts her body language to be more open to youIf adjacent, raises her voice so that you can hear herAccidentally “bumps” into youDrops something near you hoping you will pick it upPushes her hair out of the way, so that you can see more clearly her faceSubtly allows you to see more clearly what she is going; so, if she is reading, she will be sure you can see the book/magazine giving you an opening (subtle, but true)Sits or stands near you, but with her back directly to you. If you move, she moves tooHer feet and hips point towards you, but her shoulders and head don’t.Her lips swell, or become flushed. Her cheeks or neck might change color tooHer pupils dilate when she looks at youShe, ‘accidentally’, separates herself from her groupShe sees you, then adjusts her clothes

If she goes out of her way – in subtle and not so subtle ways – to get you to notice her, then guess what?

She wants you to notice her.

If you notice any of the above, she is probably interested. But, there is only one way to find out and that is to approach her.

Need help with that?  Read my How To Pick Up Women article.

Enjoy!  Oh, and remember, feel free to add more below…

Sn.

View the original article here

NYC Dating Coach: Themes I’ve Noticed…

As a dating coach here in NYC, you’d likely think that most of the guys I work with are very different, diverse, experiencing very different challenges vis-a-vis women and dating.  If that’s what you think, you’d be wrong…very very wrong.

It’s truly amazing how each of the guys who come to me tend to struggle with the exact same things.  And, very regularly, the solutions to what they struggle with are usually the same as well.  It has caused me to think that there is a true epidemic of fear and insecurity within our male population, which is usually the root cause of his struggles with women.

First, some catch words:

Insecurity
Autonomy
Mission or Aim
Lifestyle

These are all important for one reason or another.  Let’s begin with insecurity.  We throw this word around like a tennis ball, but the fact is, it is a REAL thing.  It manifests towards women a lot given their value to men.  The more important something is, the greater the impact ones insecurity will manifest.  Don’t ask me why – it just is that way.  EVERY guy who struggles with women suffers from some level of insecurity.  How do I know this?  The number one attractive element in men to women is….SECURITY.  (this is written about all over this blog, won’t rewrite it here)

Autonomy is simply the presence of security in a man.  It is the quality of ones life being self-directed.  It implies balance, power and meaning.  The opposite of this would be imbalance, powerlessness and aimlessness.  The solution, I have found, to the disease of insecurity is to pursue autonomy.  My job as a dating coach is to find out where a guy has given up his power and train him to take it back.  Becoming attractive to women, naturally, means a man is pursuing autonomy, he is seeking a real life of his own.  No gimmicks can give him/you that…

Mission or Aim.  Every new-age punk teacher has grasped these ideas and written multitudes of books about it (excluding David Deida’s marvelous “Way of the Superior Man”).  All a guy needs is to have some concept of what he wants out of life, whether it is in the direction of career, hobby, travel etc – it doesn’t matter (at least to me).  But, as long as a guy has a direction he can galvanize his energies around this, build a real lifestyle to support it, and start meeting people with whom he shares this interest.  Mission/aim/purpose…very important, very simple.  Lets not overcomplicate, OK?

Finally Lifestyle.  Most of the guys I work with have a lifestyle that has been given to them.  It is not one of their own crafting.  Do you have latent interests?  Are you living a life you love?  Are you consciously designing a life around you?  Or, do things “happen” to you causing to to “react” and take a smaller position in the world?  It’s never in-between.  It’s always one or the other:  You are either consciously building a lifestyle or the world/others are unconsciously (best case) leeching off of you for its/theirs.  My job as a dating coach, again, is to help a guy consciously craft his lifestyle.  Once he begins this, power returns to him, the lights turn on again, and he becomes, unwittingly, attractive…

Approaching women, flirting, baiting, teasing etc are all important – but they must rest upon concrete, as opposed to sand.  The themes outlined above are critical and must come first.  No amount of slick gimmicks and tactics will hide the fact that the guy in question simply…doesn’t…get it. 

Would that be you?

Learn more about my dating coaching programs right here in NYC by clicking below:

NYC Dating Coach Stephen Nash

Stephen Nash

View the original article here

Guy Talk: What Is Your Dating Blind Spot?

Everyone has a blind spot.  And in the area of dating and women, many men have very prominent blind spots.  By definition, we might be unable to diagnose ourselves.  But, if we can generate an interesting discussion on blind spots we have noticed in OTHERS, we might be helped to take a different look at ourselves.

I know that when I was starting to learn how to get better with women and dating, a blind spot I had was in my mindset.  I suffered from a ‘frame of scarcity’.  When I was talking to a woman, I would get so locked-in on her that I would lose all perspective and begin to NEED her approval.  This is a huge no-no when meeting women.  No woman wants to feel needed within 5 minutes.  I could be surrounded by multitudes of women, and still feel a sense of panic if this particular girl was showing signs of losing interest.

My solution to this was to learn more gimmicks, try harder, change my body language etc.  My answer was cosmetic…which had little to no effect.

Gaining perspective for me was difficult.  But, I eventually obtained it by being persistent and growing my own self-esteem (by building my lifestyle).

What blind spots have you noticed, either in yourself or other guys?  Lets get a list going here as a point of reference for guys out there really trying to improve their social lives.

In working with a lot of men, here are a few I’ve noticed:

1) They *THINK* their ‘look’ is strong, when in fact it is boring and average

2) They *THINK* their body language is solid, but when they approach a woman they show blatant signs of neediness and nervousness

3) They *THINK* they have decent breath, but in fact it stinks (more common than you’d think unfortunately)

4) They *THINK* their lifestyle is strong and socially-focused when, in fact, it is average, anti-social and uninviting to women (this one’s complex…and very, very common)

And the biggie…

5) They *THINK* that learning ‘pick-up’ skills will help them to meet women, when in fact their results are barely improving (if at all).  The common solution here is to ‘buy more products’ or ‘learn more gimmicks’ or ‘practice harder’ when, in fact, they are aggravating the issue (It’s subtle, but I see this one a lot; in fact, I’ve come to call my 1-1 NYC Dating Coaching “PUA Detox” as many guys are infected with a bunch of rubbish and mental nonsense that is only making matters worse…)

What issues have you seen in your friends, wingmen, or other guys you’ve watched interacting with women?

Again, it might be impossible for you to see your blind spot, but if you can see another’s it might be a clue as to what is infecting you…

Lets go!  Add your thoughts below.

Sn.

View the original article here

How To Seduce An Older Woman

If you want to know how to seduce older women, then you’re at the right place. Everyone seems to be fixated at the “cougar” – you know, older women with unsatiable lust for younger men. This is by no means a new development – more and more guys are now learning the keys to “mature seduction”. They are getting schooled in the art of seducing older women. With a few simple techniques, guys can obtain the powers of seducing cougars. Read on to discover the killer tricks on how to seduce an older woman and get amazing results quickly

How To Seduce An Older Woman – 3 Killer “Mature Seduce” Techniques

Technique 1: The Sophistication Factor. Older women are different in a sense that they are impressed by class, intelligence and sophistication. You see, older women have more experience in dating – which means that you will need to come across as more charming and suave as usual. Older women are not attracted to immature guys who cannot hold a conversation together. The fact is that the more charming and matured you come across, the faster you’ll be able to tap into her rich sexual experience on the bed.

Technique 2: The Non-Braggart. Avoid boasting of your possessions, or your sexual exploits. You can be sure that the older woman will soon lose interest in you once you start bragging about your Jaguar or your little black book. Instead, find ways to compliment her about her achievements.

Technique 3: Use Fractionation. This is a fairly effective technique which is guaranteed to make an older woman fall in love with you quickly and deeeply. It’s a tactic borrowed from the field of hypnosis, psychology and neuro-linguistic programming.

Fractionation is pretty simple: you just need to talk to her casually, but at the same time bring her through an emotional roller coaster (i.e. circulating between happiness and sadness quickly). In the end, the cougar will find herself attracted hopelessly to you. It might sound complicated, but in reality it’s pretty simple to pull off… but only if you know how.

Tagged as: how to seduce an older woman, how to seduce older women, mature seduce, mature seduction, seducing older women

How To Tell If A Girl Likes You

Do you know that it’s pretty easy to tell if a girl likes you? There are some tell-tale signs that you can immediately tell if you want to know if a girl likes you or not.

If you know these signs (or known as Attraction Signals in the seduction community), then you will be able to easily know for sure about a woman’s feelings about you. You will also minimize the chances of rejection, and you will be able to know EXACTLY what a woman thinks about you. If you are ready to know what these Attraction Signals are, then read on and achieve amazingly quick results…

Attraction Signals You Need To Know

“The Notice Factor”. If she likes you, then she will put in the extra effort so that you notice her. For example, if she is going to the toilet, she would choose to walk near where you are seated. If she throws a smile at you then it’s pretty obvious that she likes you.“The Initiation Factor”. If she starts talking to you, then it’s evident that she fancies you. Also, take notice of the questions that she asks you – if they are open ended, then you will definitely know if she really intends to know you better.“The Appreciation Factor”. Remember that women are typically un-appreciative of anything (it’s true). But if she praises you, then you should take that as a sign of interest. Another clear Attraction Signal is that she keeps repeating your name – it’s a subconscious way of showing that you are deeply embedded in her mind.

There are some other Attraction Signals that you need to know:

She avoids mentioning about her boyfriend (if she has got one)She buys you a drinkShe takes the effort to introduce you to her buddiesShe plays with her hair (and glances at you to see if you look)She smiles at you, and laughs at your jokes

Once you know these Attraction Signals, then you should then “move in for the kill”. Since she is already interested, it should be much easier for you to deepen the attraction and make her fall completely in love with you.

One easy way to do this is to use this technique called Fractionation. Known as the “underground” seducer’s strongest attraction technique, it is known to be able to make stalkers out of otherwise emotionally healthy women. One word of caution: only use this technique if you DON’T have bad intentions towards women.

 

How To Win A Girl Over – Surefire Methods To Win A Girl’s Heart

To know how to win a girl over, just follow these techniques that I am going to give you. It’s really not difficult to know how to win a girls heart if you know exactly what to do. Read on and discover the killer ways of winning a girl over…

Before anything, remember that girls are typically insecure in their relationships. They spend most of their time wondering how their boyfriends really think about them. These tips on winning over a girl are based on how you can use “insecurity” to make a girl love you quickly. It’s controversial, but hey, it works. Dig in…

How To Win A Girl Over – Surefire Methods To Win A Girl’s Heart

Technique #1: Be Aggressive. You’re the one wearing the pants in the relationship, so grow some balls (pardon the language) and COURT her! Initiate the first step, ask her out, and sweep her off her feet. As Goethe says, take the first step – boldness is magical when it comes to courtship and attraction.

Of course, it helps a little if you drive a Lamborghini Superleggera, but it’s really not necessary. But if you do, then don’t come off as a show off. Talk about what you have accomplished, but never boast – that’s a real turnoff.

Technique #2: Get Her Hints. Now most men are hardly sensitive, and they are seem to be unable to get the little hints that women drop in their way. Don’t be one of these guys. Girls won’t just TELL you that they like you, but you will be able to know for sure if you are sensitive enough. Therefore, to know how to win a girl over is to understand how she feels by decoding her hints.

Technique #3: Seduce Her Conversationally. All women are emotional, and their emotions are driven by what you say to them. Therefore, conversational seduction techniques are essential here. Expert seducers use conversational attraction (and sometimes mild hypnosis) techniques such as Fractionation to make women like them quickly.

Technique #4: Use Body Language. Non-verbal techniques are often overlooked when it comes to winning a girl’s heart. Eye movements, the tone of your voice, and even how your hands move would play an important factor in your quest to win a girl over.

Technique #5: Use Fractionation. This is a little “manipulative”, but works like gangbusters. Fractionation is a technique which makes a woman go through an emotional up-and-down so that her brains get “short-circuited” which then forces her to like you.

To win a girl’s heart, usage of Fractionation will get you there – quickly and easily!

Asian Girlfriend – How To Attract Asian Women And Get An Asian Girlfriend

Have you ever wondered why Asian women are increasing in popularity? It seems that there is a conception that Asian women are generally very eager to please their partners. Also, guys seem to like the exotic look of Asians over the typical blonde or brunette. If Asian women are your cup of tea, then read on to find out how you can attract Asian women quickly and get one into the sack easily…

How To Attract Asian Women And Get An Asian Girlfriend

Tip #1: Know where to look.
Obviously first you will need to know where Asian girls congregate! Start going to places where there are lots of Asian women. For example, if you are in college, make sure that you join Asian clubs and attend their activities. Alternatively, start going to Japanese restaurants, or even frequent Chinese grocery stores to practice chatting up the workers there. If you want to know how to attract Asian girls – go to where they can be found!
Tip #2: Be culturally sensitive.
Now you must be aware that there are deep differences between races – if you want an interracial relationship then you must be especially aware of this. Dating Asian women is markedly different from dating Caucasians! For example, Asian girls tend to be sensitive to customs and cultural practices. Specifically, don’t be brash or come across as too eager. Be sensitive and pay attention to minute details – this will score you points if you want to attract asian girls.
Tip #3: Use conversational tactics.
Asian women are vulnerable to (English) conversational tactics – and this is particularly true if they are used in combination with hypnosis and persuasion tricks. If you want to know how to get an Asian girlfriend, then it’s essential that you use these conversational strategies!
Once such conversational trick is known as Fractionation. It is known to be super powerful, and is said to be able to make Asian girls fall in love quickly (as fast as 20 minutes from the moment you first talk to her). But before you use the Fractionation technique, please be careful of the following…

Fractionation is an underground seduction technique which could be dangerous if used by men who have evil intentions. But if you want a shortcut to success with Asian women (and will do so in an ethical manner), then click on this link to download the Fractionation Formula. It’s free.
Tagged as: asian girlfriend, how to attract asian girls, how to attract asian women, how to get an asian girlfriend

Some People Never Change – A Story of Oneitis

I fell in love with a stunning girl when I was living in Japan.  We were best friends and spent 6 days a week together.  She had a long distance relationship with a guy who I can only describe as one of he great losers of our generation.  He was an “actor” who had a single line in a video game that tanked.  He once told her that he would be happy if he was homeless but he only worked because he knew how greedy she was.
I was so weak that I couldn’t compete with this guy.  Imagine that.
We hung out all the time and I did EVERYTHING for her.  I paid for everything.  Took her out all the time.  Cooked all the time.
After six months we finally smashed on Valentine’s day.  It was cool.  Of course she made me promise to keep it a secret.  So everyone around us continued to think of me as a loser who was in love with his best friend and getting nowhere.  But in reality I was a loser who was in love with his best friend who was getting laid about once a month.  I had a bad case of oneitis.  There is no other way to say it.
I have so many vidoes and pictures of us hanging out all the time.  Over 5,000 pictures.  That’s right.  So believe me I know what it’s like to be at the other end of the spectrum.  In one of my videos I straight up ask my oneitis if she is banging a certain dude.  She tells me no.  I have it on tape.  How intense is that.  Wait and see!
One day she tells me she is starting to have feelings for this dude.  I totally freak out because I am so emotionally invested in her.  I am like you guys hang out sometimes, is there more going on?  Again she says no.  He lives so far away sometimes I drive her to chill at his for an afternoon.  Since she just has some feelings I guess it’s no big deal.  I mean I threw a tantrum like a baby.  I can’t lie to you.  I was such a bitch.  I think I threw her out of my apartment.
A few days later I call her and her phone picks up.  I hear a familiar sound.  I can’t hang up.  For 11 minutes I listen to her smash this other dude.
Turns out that she had been smashing him for a while.  Even now I’m 100% sure I don’t know the real truth.  Was she banging him the first time I asked months earlier and she said no?  No  way to know.
She broke up with her long distance boyfriend for this dude.  She was supposed to move back to America but she was willing to stay in Japan for this dude.  He told her not to bother.  One day he came up to me while she was out of town and wanted to be friends.  He talked about how she was a liar and a slut and we should be friends.  This chick was my best friend dudes.
This was almost 5 years ago and I am getting emotional writing about this right now.
I of course told her went down and she made me promise not to fight the guy for hating on her.  This between me and her were so strange.  She was back in my small village for a week before leaving Japan forever and we spent the week banging like champions.  In bed we are electric together.
The truth is that I can only tell you less than 1% of the story  here as it’s so convoluted and detailed.  I will tell you that that low point was when I told her “It doesn’t matter who you bang, I will always love you.”
If you aren’t cringing right now, I’m not sure you have been reading my blog enough!
I stayed in Japan another year.  The ghosts of her were everywhere though.  So when my time was up I couldn’t live in America.  I couldn’t be in the same country as her.  That’s how deep it was dudes.  I would love to pretend that I’ve always been a Jedi Pickup Artist but it ain’t true.  I am a creation of my own will.
I decided to move to London.  I of course couldn’t resist and spend a weekend in New York City with my best friend and met up with her for an afternoon.  If you ever read my posts where I am brutal to guys who are in love with their best friends it’s because of this day.  She already had a new boyfriend.  She’s one of those girls who’s perpetually in a relationship.  She can’t be alone.
I was so weak and I almost cried a ton.  I was the most beta guy on the planet that day.  I wish some other dude had come and kicked me out of orbit.
So I moved to London and I was so brokenhearted.  Distance did help and I finally stopped emailing her all the time.  Six months later I read The Game by Neil Strauss.  I read it in a single day.  It blew my mind.  If you ever wonder why I became such a legendary pickup artist so fast.  My pain was the fuel and this book was the engine.
That night was Christmas Eve and I was talking to her on the phone.  She mentioned how the dude might be moving to New York and he’d been by her apartment.  I realized in that moment what I was.  I was a worm.  I had created my own destiny.  But I was still a worm.  She hadn’t invited me to her apartment when I was visiting.
So I cut off all communications with her for years.  I focused on becoming the man I always dreamed of.  And the truth is she probably didn’t even notice that I wasn’t emailing her.  Was I cured?
This is a real truth about guys who read books and articles and blogs about meeting women.  And there is a 90% chance that it directly relates to you as you are reading this right now.  And most guys I know who are really big dating coaches will deny it to their graves.  But really most of us had the plan to become master pickup artists and then go back and make our Oneitis fall back in love with us.  I was just talking to Rob Judge about this the other week.  Might be why this topic is on my mind.
So a few months ago I was in Hawaii living my dreams and my oneitis popped onto skype.  It was so weird.  I hadn’t seen her online in like 3 years.  Within 30 minutes we were on the phone talking dirty as hell and I was badgering the witness.  I admit it.  She still really knows how to fire up my motor in a major way.
Turns out she just moved in with her new boyfriend but she was coming to Hawaii a few weeks after I was leaving.  She asked me to stay around and see her.  I could have.  But we definitely would have banged and I didn’t want to ruin another one of her relationships.  Even after all this time I still want the best for her.
We have been texting on and off for the last few months.  I’m going to be in New York very soon for a speaking engagement and so I was planning on seeing her and who knows.  She already broke up with that boyfriend.  So this was the first time we were ever talking when she was single.
I don’t want to go into too much detail since this all happened in the last few months and it’s recent history etc.  But the things I’ve learned is that people really don’t change.  She is 100% the same girl I knew 5 years ago.  She still plays the same games.  She still has the same issues.  She still knows how to break my heart without feeling anything.
Now I have changed a LOT since the last go round.  This time I was texting her while texting a hot lesbian in Nashville AND a hot lesbian in DC.  So the power dynamic has changed.  The games don’t hurt me.
The main reason I even put up with this is that at my heart I am a scientist and I love to see how experiements play out so I can report back to all you guys.  And my conclusion is this dudes.  Don’t go back.  You need to only look forward.  As much history as I have with this girl it just ain’t worth it.
But I can tell you write now that she will email or text or skype me sometime in the next few months.  And I will be tempted.  But I know my brothers will stop me from poisoning myself.

Becoming Famous – A Story in Photos

I have always loved having my picture take.  It’s why my personal Facebook page has about 5000 photos and I have almost 3000 of me and my oneitis.  That’s right!  It might be a record in the dating world for most pictures with the girl who broke your heart.  So when a photojournalist emailed me asking if he could spend a week following me and documenting my life, of course I said yes.
After agreeing, I was a little bit nervous, because lately my primary focus has been on writing articles, posting on this blog and making it sexier, putting together training videos and having phone meetings with other dating companies.  Unfortunately, that is not very exciting on camera.  When I was teaching in London, I had from 5-10 students in field with me every single week, and let’s be honest watching guys hit on girls in bars is interesting as hell to watch.  Me typing at my computer, no so much.
So when Austin Anthony started following me that week I put out a call in Nashville.  I would give free training to anyone who was willing to let my photojournalist hang around.  The photos would be primarily of me and we would make sure not to reveal anyone’s secret identities.  Unfortunately, Nashville has the weakest pickup scene of any city I have ever been to.  So out of 200 guys I personally emailed only about 4 replied.  And all of them chickened out and didn’t show up in the end.
Fortunately, one of my students from a year ago called and was down to party.  It was awesome to see how far he has come along in the last year.  I’m very proud of how the photo project came out as well.  I didn’t change anything from my normal routine.  And so it’s one of the most accurate depictions of my life you could get, without spending a week trailing me.
Austin anthony never uses a flash when he takes his pictures.  He feels it can affect the events as they unfold.  He’s really serious about his craft and does everything he can to stay on the outside of events.  It was really interesting for me.  Like having a scientist there who doesn’t want to accidentally affect the experiment.  He has a really badass camera,  all big and professional.  And those can do things in low light that your average pocket camera just can’t do.  A ton of the pictures don’t come out because they are so dark, but the ones that do come out are REALLY revealing.  There were a couple of occasions where he got more than 20 pictures of me talking to a girl.
These are very valuable teaching tools because he actually captures the body language in a moment.  And it allows me to really see what my students are seeing.  I will be using a ton of these photos on here in the near future, as well as part of my teaching tools.

The Perfect First Text

How to Send the Perfect 1st Text After You Get a Woman’s Number
This is a guest post from Jordan Harbinger, a friend and fellow dating coach over at The Art of Charm.
You aren’t the only guy going after the girls you’re interested in.
While that statement is exceptionally simple, it is also crucial to keep in mind if your goal is dating your ultimate woman.
Why?
Because chances are she’s giving out her number on a regular basis and, as a result, you need to maintain (or build) her attraction in you EVERY step of the interaction.
You did yourself well in getting her number, but if you want to actually date her, it’s what you after you receive her number that sets you apart enough to make her want to date you.
In this post, I’m going to show you how I do that with my first text. You’re going to learn how to solidify her attraction and consistently turn your numbers into actual dates. There are just a few key principles you need to know and they are very easy to learn.
You see, a lot of guys can get a girl’s number, but what often happens is they get so excited about pulling numbers… that they give little thought to what to do with them.
(I’m going to avoid the debate of calling versus texting for now, but what you should know is texting is better during these early stages. Not only is it becoming the de facto way to communicate (especially with people you just met), but it’s lower pressure for her, lets her respond when she has the time, and vastly increases YOUR chances of hearing back from her.)
So let’s talk about how to nail that first text, so you can maintain (or grow) her attraction in you and move closer to that first date.
Though you are only sending 1-3 lines of text, you are giving off (often unconsciously) signals that tell her a lot about what type of guy you are.
For example:
Is meeting women a typical behavior for you?Do you have high Social Value?Are you easily manipulated or do you have a strong sense of personal identity?What kind of personality do you have? Will you be able to excite her and make her laugh? Or are you boring like every other guy?Are you needy or do you have other things going on in your life?
These are just a few of the things she will subconsciously pick up from your text messages… and they impact her decision of whether or not she’ll want to move forward with the relationship.
This may seem like a lot pressure to cram on a few lines of text, but once you incorporate these principles into your text game you will naturally give off the right signals.
To begin, we need to look at why most guys don’t get this right.
For many guys the first text is a stressful, agonizing experience. You sit there wracking your brain for hours to come up with the perfect zinger to send… but then end up with something brilliant like:
Hey what’s up?Hey cutie, it was nice meeting you last night. Want to hang out tonight?How is your day going?What are you up to?Do you remember me? -{your name}Hey it’s {name} from the bar/party/club last night. What’s up?
These types of texts are typical and THAT’S WHY they’re boring.
Instead of setting you apart, they lump you right into the “lame/boring” category with every other guy.
Not only are they completely devoid of emotional impact, but they kill any initial attraction you built up with her when you got her number in the first place.
How do you write a 1st text that sets you apart and makes her excited to text you back? There are three essential ingredients I’ve found you need:
It needs to set a fun, playful tone for future interactionsIt needs to engage her emotions, causing her to re-affirm her attraction to youIt needs to compel her to respond
If you can accomplish all of these in your first text, odds are she will not only respond positively, but will be much more willing to move forward with you.
Let’s take a look how to each element works and how to incorporate them together in your first text.
This may sound crazy at first, but fourth-grade humor should be the underlying theme for most of your text messages, including the initial interaction. (This stems from the larger point of your overall successful text strategy, but that is too big for one article. You can learn more about that here.)
Light-hearted, super-silly jokes win women over because they get her constantly associating positive and playful emotions with you.
You can accomplish this by using a variety of tools: nicknames, role-playing, teasing, etc. Plus, always remember that the way you word things has a dramatic effect on how it is perceived, like “dancing” vs “bust-a-move.”
The most powerful and important element of your first text is engaging her emotions.
The primary goal of your initial texts should be helping her re-experience the feelings of attraction you created when you got her number. You want to continue with whatever you did to make her attracted in the first place…
… and the easiest way to do so is by referencing a topic from your past conversation.
This will cause her to recall her time with you and to feel those same emotions she felt at that point – the very emotions that were the foundation of her attraction to you (and you to her as well).
The last thing you want is to have to start back at Square One and re-build positive emotions in her. Instead, pick up where you left off and you’ll be able to move your relationship along much quicker.
How do you compel attractive women to consistently respond to your first texts? The same way you get anyone to respond: by asking a question or making a statement that requires more info.
Now here’s the catch: you can’t just pop her any old question or statement… otherwise, Hey what’s up? would be effective. What kind of question do you ask? Simply take a basic question and re-word it so it becomes fun and playful.
Example:
What’s up? becomes What kind of mischief are you causing today?
Here’s another example that would require additional information: I just figured out what you would be if you were an animal. If she wants to know the answer she has to text you back.
The secret is to make the statement about her personally. Nothing makes a person more curious than what someone else thinks about them.
Imagine that during your conversation she told you how she used to always go to the zoo to see the penguins. She was obsessed with them and went to bed every night until she was twelve with her stuffed penguin, Chilly Willy.
When it comes time to text her, you can now draw from that story to not only show that you listened (good job), but more importantly, to evoke all those emotions again.
Next you compel her to respond by adding a question or statement that requires more information.
You then set a fun and playful tone not only by the way you word your text, but by adding in things like nicknames, role-playing, teasing, etc.
If you put it all together it would look something like this:
Hey my little penguin princess, what kind of mischief are you causing today!?
Or
Hey my little penguin princess, I just realized which celebrity you remind me of.. crazy crazy
As brief and silly as these messages seem, they accomplish a lot:
They cause her to recall the positive feelings she had when sharing that story with you, re-affirming her attraction to you.They also demonstrate that you are not like every other guy and compel her to respond in a playful way.
This puts her guard down and sets the tone for a successful interaction. The first example even lets you know what her plans are for the day… and you can then use this information to move the conversation forward and perhaps even plan a meet up. Not bad for a few lines of text.
As you begin using this system, you should know that while the exact words you use are pretty important, the main thing to worry about right now is following the 3 principles I just laid out (and I KNOW they work because I’ve been using them successfully myself for quite some time now).
And that’s part of the beauty of it: you no longer need to stress over what to say.
Next time you get a number, you just need to remember these 3 principles as you recall the interaction and you’ll naturally know how to follow up with her.
It’s OK if it feels weird the first time you try it — it’s something new. But remember, if you aren’t happy with the results you’re getting right now, the only way to change that is to change what you’re doing.
So give it a shot and allow yourself the opportunity to see what happens. What’s the worst that could happen? What’s the *best* that could happen?
I’ll finish with one last note: if you are still following a 3-day or any other kind of rule about how long to wait until you send the first text, cut it out already!
The feeling of attraction is fleeting, so you have to strike while the iron is hot.
Don’t give her time for the memory of you to fade away… or, even worse, get replaced by another guy. You should almost always text a girl within hours of getting her number, and never later than the next day.
And if you want to learn even more texting strategies, you can get my new guide right here totally free. You’ll get a thorough, step-by-step system for consistently turning phone numbers into awesome dates. And if you’re like most guys, it will start giving you results tonight already.

10 mujeres muestran sus tetas naturales

Greatest. Protest. Video. Ever.
So these ten chicks got together and decided to protect fake boobs. It’s from Colombia and it’s an antiplastic surgery and silicon movement. I respect anyone who’s willing to take a stand. As a guy who loves boobs in all shapes and sizes this is one protest that I can actually get behind.
The video is so hot that I can’t actually host it here. It’s to risque even for me, but I will hook you up with a killer link!
PROTEST SILICON
This video is super hot but I also do think they make a good point.  Our society is moving to a point where everyone wants to look like each other.  We are actually trying to weed out individuality.  So take some time and show some respect to boobs that God made.

The Perfect First Text

How to Send the Perfect 1st Text After You Get a Woman’s Number
This is a guest post from Jordan Harbinger, a friend and fellow dating coach over at The Art of Charm.
You aren’t the only guy going after the girls you’re interested in.
While that statement is exceptionally simple, it is also crucial to keep in mind if your goal is dating your ultimate woman.
Why?
Because chances are she’s giving out her number on a regular basis and, as a result, you need to maintain (or build) her attraction in you EVERY step of the interaction.
You did yourself well in getting her number, but if you want to actually date her, it’s what you after you receive her number that sets you apart enough to make her want to date you.
In this post, I’m going to show you how I do that with my first text. You’re going to learn how to solidify her attraction and consistently turn your numbers into actual dates. There are just a few key principles you need to know and they are very easy to learn.
You see, a lot of guys can get a girl’s number, but what often happens is they get so excited about pulling numbers… that they give little thought to what to do with them.
(I’m going to avoid the debate of calling versus texting for now, but what you should know is texting is better during these early stages. Not only is it becoming the de facto way to communicate (especially with people you just met), but it’s lower pressure for her, lets her respond when she has the time, and vastly increases YOUR chances of hearing back from her.)
So let’s talk about how to nail that first text, so you can maintain (or grow) her attraction in you and move closer to that first date.
Though you are only sending 1-3 lines of text, you are giving off (often unconsciously) signals that tell her a lot about what type of guy you are.
For example:
Is meeting women a typical behavior for you?Do you have high Social Value?Are you easily manipulated or do you have a strong sense of personal identity?What kind of personality do you have? Will you be able to excite her and make her laugh? Or are you boring like every other guy?Are you needy or do you have other things going on in your life?
These are just a few of the things she will subconsciously pick up from your text messages… and they impact her decision of whether or not she’ll want to move forward with the relationship.
This may seem like a lot pressure to cram on a few lines of text, but once you incorporate these principles into your text game you will naturally give off the right signals.
To begin, we need to look at why most guys don’t get this right.
For many guys the first text is a stressful, agonizing experience. You sit there wracking your brain for hours to come up with the perfect zinger to send… but then end up with something brilliant like:
Hey what’s up?Hey cutie, it was nice meeting you last night. Want to hang out tonight?How is your day going?What are you up to?Do you remember me? -{your name}Hey it’s {name} from the bar/party/club last night. What’s up?
These types of texts are typical and THAT’S WHY they’re boring.
Instead of setting you apart, they lump you right into the “lame/boring” category with every other guy.
Not only are they completely devoid of emotional impact, but they kill any initial attraction you built up with her when you got her number in the first place.
How do you write a 1st text that sets you apart and makes her excited to text you back? There are three essential ingredients I’ve found you need:
It needs to set a fun, playful tone for future interactionsIt needs to engage her emotions, causing her to re-affirm her attraction to youIt needs to compel her to respond
If you can accomplish all of these in your first text, odds are she will not only respond positively, but will be much more willing to move forward with you.
Let’s take a look how to each element works and how to incorporate them together in your first text.
This may sound crazy at first, but fourth-grade humor should be the underlying theme for most of your text messages, including the initial interaction. (This stems from the larger point of your overall successful text strategy, but that is too big for one article. You can learn more about that here.)
Light-hearted, super-silly jokes win women over because they get her constantly associating positive and playful emotions with you.
You can accomplish this by using a variety of tools: nicknames, role-playing, teasing, etc. Plus, always remember that the way you word things has a dramatic effect on how it is perceived, like “dancing” vs “bust-a-move.”
The most powerful and important element of your first text is engaging her emotions.
The primary goal of your initial texts should be helping her re-experience the feelings of attraction you created when you got her number. You want to continue with whatever you did to make her attracted in the first place…
… and the easiest way to do so is by referencing a topic from your past conversation.
This will cause her to recall her time with you and to feel those same emotions she felt at that point – the very emotions that were the foundation of her attraction to you (and you to her as well).
The last thing you want is to have to start back at Square One and re-build positive emotions in her. Instead, pick up where you left off and you’ll be able to move your relationship along much quicker.
How do you compel attractive women to consistently respond to your first texts? The same way you get anyone to respond: by asking a question or making a statement that requires more info.
Now here’s the catch: you can’t just pop her any old question or statement… otherwise, Hey what’s up? would be effective. What kind of question do you ask? Simply take a basic question and re-word it so it becomes fun and playful.
Example:
What’s up? becomes What kind of mischief are you causing today?
Here’s another example that would require additional information: I just figured out what you would be if you were an animal. If she wants to know the answer she has to text you back.
The secret is to make the statement about her personally. Nothing makes a person more curious than what someone else thinks about them.
Imagine that during your conversation she told you how she used to always go to the zoo to see the penguins. She was obsessed with them and went to bed every night until she was twelve with her stuffed penguin, Chilly Willy.
When it comes time to text her, you can now draw from that story to not only show that you listened (good job), but more importantly, to evoke all those emotions again.
Next you compel her to respond by adding a question or statement that requires more information.
You then set a fun and playful tone not only by the way you word your text, but by adding in things like nicknames, role-playing, teasing, etc.
If you put it all together it would look something like this:
Hey my little penguin princess, what kind of mischief are you causing today!?
Or
Hey my little penguin princess, I just realized which celebrity you remind me of.. crazy crazy
As brief and silly as these messages seem, they accomplish a lot:
They cause her to recall the positive feelings she had when sharing that story with you, re-affirming her attraction to you.They also demonstrate that you are not like every other guy and compel her to respond in a playful way.
This puts her guard down and sets the tone for a successful interaction. The first example even lets you know what her plans are for the day… and you can then use this information to move the conversation forward and perhaps even plan a meet up. Not bad for a few lines of text.
As you begin using this system, you should know that while the exact words you use are pretty important, the main thing to worry about right now is following the 3 principles I just laid out (and I KNOW they work because I’ve been using them successfully myself for quite some time now).
And that’s part of the beauty of it: you no longer need to stress over what to say.
Next time you get a number, you just need to remember these 3 principles as you recall the interaction and you’ll naturally know how to follow up with her.
It’s OK if it feels weird the first time you try it — it’s something new. But remember, if you aren’t happy with the results you’re getting right now, the only way to change that is to change what you’re doing.
So give it a shot and allow yourself the opportunity to see what happens. What’s the worst that could happen? What’s the *best* that could happen?
I’ll finish with one last note: if you are still following a 3-day or any other kind of rule about how long to wait until you send the first text, cut it out already!
The feeling of attraction is fleeting, so you have to strike while the iron is hot.
Don’t give her time for the memory of you to fade away… or, even worse, get replaced by another guy. You should almost always text a girl within hours of getting her number, and never later than the next day.
And if you want to learn even more texting strategies, you can get my new guide right here totally free. You’ll get a thorough, step-by-step system for consistently turning phone numbers into awesome dates. And if you’re like most guys, it will start giving you results tonight already. Check it out here.

Dabbling in the Friend Zone

I have been thinking a LOT on this topic lately as I have started hanging out with some girls a lot more than I normally do. It’s really difficult for me to be friends with girls because inevitable we sleep together. I’m going to write a more detailed article about whether men and women can actually be friends for my tsbmag series. For today I want to just share what’s been going on.
Friday morning I woke up in bed with my friend’s roomate for the 3rd time in a row. This time she was finally completely naked, but other than a little light fingering nothing really happened. I am pretty sure that we didn’t even kiss. So how did I get here…..
Thursday the roomate texts me to say that it’s the Giraffe’s birthday that night and I have to come. Her birthday isn’t for another week, so I was caught by surprise. I thought of a cool present and just planned on dropping it off as I am tired of missing the gym on Friday because of them. I got there and it was 3 girls and 3 boys. I was central to their plans and couldn’t really slip away. I ended up downtown and hammered with the girls and eventually it was just me and the 2 of them. I was really grinding on the Giraffe in this honky tonk and just having a nice ole time.
We left and it was clear she was about to pass out. Her roommate was like let’s get a 12pack and party just the two of us after she crashes. Now I’m into that. I have a strong enough sense of self that I can be friends with this girl and not creep on her 24/7. In fact I didn’t make any moves in the bar at all. So the gas station won’t sell her beer because she’s so hammered and they won’t sell to me either after her demonstration.
So we end up back at hers and it’s all good…. Until she realizes that her cell phone is missing. Now this is a level 10 state break. There are a couple of terrible things that can pretty much destroy your chances of anything happening with a girl. 1. Lost Friend 2. Lost Keys 3. Lost Cell Phone
I know this and it’s practically tattooed on my brain. But I’m in a limbo place because I am kind of friends with this girl. The giraffe is my homey and she clearly needs to pass out so I tell her that I will handle this so she can just crash out. We grab a taxi and check the bar and the gas station to no avail. It appears that she left her phone in a random taxi. With no password. And a ton of “private” photos on it.
So she is really distressed and actually crying a bit. I mean she is going to have to drop some serious dosh to cover this issue. And I think she is going to have to cancel a trip she was planning. So she is in a very unhappy mood by the time we are in bed. I use my magical massage powers to get her completely nude, but there is no kissing and she’s still crying.
I help her deactivate her phone so that at least it can’t be used if it’s snatched, but it’s still expensive and got those photos. I try to remain the rock in this situation. But I hate being in the limbo between friends and more than friends or whatever. I know what to do if I’m in one position or the other, but in between sucks.
She makes me promise to take her to the phone store the moment it opens in the morning at 9am. So now I’m locked in. Crap.
We fool around a little but she doesn’t let me get past 2nd base and eventually I just fall asleep. She is actually a really good cuddler. But I find it hard to sleep as the big spoon. I know and I don’t care. It’s just what I like. I’m a little spoon kinda guy.
So I pass out.
I wake up and give it a 2nd go at like 6am or something. I get her halfway warmed up before she slams the breaks again.
This is where I hit my dilemma. I was sober enough to drive home and I could sleep in my bed and make it to my favorite gym day of the week. That’s 100% what I would do if this girl was just a girl I was creeping on or whatever. But if she’s my friend I have to stay to take her in the morning to sort out her phone situation.
So I stick around because I promised and I don’t wanna be a promise breaker. So we get up and in the end she drives and the Giraffe comes with us. And I’m not sure why I’m even there. The guy at the phone store is kinda handsome but dumb as a rock and she flirts with him super hard in front of me. I’m not really sure if that’s appropriate or not, I just wanna get home to recover. Then they make me go to breakfast with them and it’s ok I guess but she is getting more and more angry about stuff and kind of acting like an asshole to be honest.
In the car on the way home she demands that I tell her the fastest way to her place and no scenic route. Then halfway home when I suggest a different turn she tells me to shut up. It’s a nice mixed message. I just want out of there. As soon as we get to her place she heads over to her neighbor’s house. Now I know that he’s one of the 8 guys in her current rotation. So I’m outa there.
The truth is most of the night I was analyzing and trying to determine the best course of action. I don’t have an emotional investment in this girl, so I am able to maintain my objectivity, but just barely.
I think if I’d slipped out I woulda come off as more of an asshole, which probably would have increased her attraction for me, but could have upset my friend the Giraffe. Oftentimes, girls can’t separate kindness from weakness. Her actions toward me became more and more negative because she thought I was helping her because I’m attracted to her. When really I was helping the Giraffe. Girl’s don’t seem to be able to separate those two things very effectively.
Originally me and this girl did not get along, so I got plenty of solo time with the Giraffe. But now every time I hang out with the Giraffe her roommate is there. And it’s not something I mind, but it adds a layer of complexity to this social situation. The best action at this point is to break rapport. But now I have to break rapport with both of them. Basically I can’t text/hang out with the Giraffe for about a week. Ironically, I’m heading to Florida for 10 days next week. So it will be about 3 weeks of breaking rapport. C’est la vie.

Boundaries

Two weeks my mom was in the hospital for what we thought was a stroke.  She was really far away visiting one of my sisters, so I was feeling kinda down.  I called the two giants to come console me over a few cocktails that night.
I just kinda didn’t want to think about things.
So I drink alone for an hour or two until they get off work and they show up, but man they just wanted to talk about themselves.  The truth is I probably wouldn’t have called them at all except I just needed someone to drink with on a Monday and most people I know are trying to lead responsible lives right now.  Not that that’s my thing at all!
So we have some drinks etc and I end up back at theirs.  Both separately inform me at this point that I’m sleeping on the couch.  I’ve slept in both of their beds multiple times and I actually wasn’t really pushing to bang.  I mean I was genuinely upset.  The thing is I’m not the kind of man who sleeps on a girls couch anymore.  That guy just doesn’t exist here.
So I called a cab and I rolled out of there.  They straight up pushed against one of my boundaries and I will not have a girl in my life who thinks I’m couchworthy.  You must be joking.
Recently I had a similar issue with boundaries with someone over a work issue.  I had to be extremely firm and explain what my boundaries are and that I will not cross them or allow them to be broken, even for financial gain.
If you constantly let people move your barriers, whether they strorm through like a German blitzkrieg or instead use a battle of inches like on my Date with an Author, you will end up with exactly no territory.  People have a natural inclination to treat you like crap if you allow them to.  The moment someone stops respecting you, you have lost everything.
So start taking yourself and your boundaries seriously.  Decide what you will and will not accept in your life, at work and with your friends.  You will see major differences.

Some People Never Change – A Story of Oneitis

I fell in love with a stunning girl when I was living in Japan.  We were best friends and spent 6 days a week together.  She had a long distance relationship with a guy who I can only describe as one of he great losers of our generation.  He was an “actor” who had a single line in a video game that tanked.  He once told her that he would be happy if he was homeless but he only worked because he knew how greedy she was.
I was so weak that I couldn’t compete with this guy.  Imagine that.
We hung out all the time and I did EVERYTHING for her.  I paid for everything.  Took her out all the time.  Cooked all the time.
After six months we finally smashed on Valentine’s day.  It was cool.  Of course she made me promise to keep it a secret.  So everyone around us continued to think of me as a loser who was in love with his best friend and getting nowhere.  But in reality I was a loser who was in love with his best friend who was getting laid about once a month.  I had a bad case of oneitis.  There is no other way to say it.
I have so many vidoes and pictures of us hanging out all the time.  Over 5,000 pictures.  That’s right.  So believe me I know what it’s like to be at the other end of the spectrum.  In one of my videos I straight up ask my oneitis if she is banging a certain dude.  She tells me no.  I have it on tape.  How intense is that.  Wait and see!
One day she tells me she is starting to have feelings for this dude.  I totally freak out because I am so emotionally invested in her.  I am like you guys hang out sometimes, is there more going on?  Again she says no.  He lives so far away sometimes I drive her to chill at his for an afternoon.  Since she just has some feelings I guess it’s no big deal.  I mean I threw a tantrum like a baby.  I can’t lie to you.  I was such a bitch.  I think I threw her out of my apartment.
A few days later I call her and her phone picks up.  I hear a familiar sound.  I can’t hang up.  For 11 minutes I listen to her smash this other dude.
Turns out that she had been smashing him for a while.  Even now I’m 100% sure I don’t know the real truth.  Was she banging him the first time I asked months earlier and she said no?  No  way to know.
She broke up with her long distance boyfriend for this dude.  She was supposed to move back to America but she was willing to stay in Japan for this dude.  He told her not to bother.  One day he came up to me while she was out of town and wanted to be friends.  He talked about how she was a liar and a slut and we should be friends.  This chick was my best friend dudes.
This was almost 5 years ago and I am getting emotional writing about this right now.
I of course told her went down and she made me promise not to fight the guy for hating on her.  This between me and her were so strange.  She was back in my small village for a week before leaving Japan forever and we spent the week banging like champions.  In bed we are electric together.
The truth is that I can only tell you less than 1% of the story  here as it’s so convoluted and detailed.  I will tell you that that low point was when I told her “It doesn’t matter who you bang, I will always love you.”
If you aren’t cringing right now, I’m not sure you have been reading my blog enough!
I stayed in Japan another year.  The ghosts of her were everywhere though.  So when my time was up I couldn’t live in America.  I couldn’t be in the same country as her.  That’s how deep it was dudes.  I would love to pretend that I’ve always been a Jedi Pickup Artist but it ain’t true.  I am a creation of my own will.
I decided to move to London.  I of course couldn’t resist and spend a weekend in New York City with my best friend and met up with her for an afternoon.  If you ever read my posts where I am brutal to guys who are in love with their best friends it’s because of this day.  She already had a new boyfriend.  She’s one of those girls who’s perpetually in a relationship.  She can’t be alone.
I was so weak and I almost cried a ton.  I was the most beta guy on the planet that day.  I wish some other dude had come and kicked me out of orbit.
So I moved to London and I was so brokenhearted.  Distance did help and I finally stopped emailing her all the time.  Six months later I read The Game by Neil Strauss.  I read it in a single day.  It blew my mind.  If you ever wonder why I became such a legendary pickup artist so fast.  My pain was the fuel and this book was the engine.
That night was Christmas Eve and I was talking to her on the phone.  She mentioned how the dude might be moving to New York and he’d been by her apartment.  I realized in that moment what I was.  I was a worm.  I had created my own destiny.  But I was still a worm.  She hadn’t invited me to her apartment when I was visiting.
So I cut off all communications with her for years.  I focused on becoming the man I always dreamed of.  And the truth is she probably didn’t even notice that I wasn’t emailing her.  Was I cured?
This is a real truth about guys who read books and articles and blogs about meeting women.  And there is a 90% chance that it directly relates to you as you are reading this right now.  And most guys I know who are really big dating coaches will deny it to their graves.  But really most of us had the plan to become master pickup artists and then go back and make our Oneitis fall back in love with us.  I was just talking to Rob Judge about this the other week.  Might be why this topic is on my mind.
So a few months ago I was in Hawaii living my dreams and my oneitis popped onto skype.  It was so weird.  I hadn’t seen her online in like 3 years.  Within 30 minutes we were on the phone talking dirty as hell and I was badgering the witness.  I admit it.  She still really knows how to fire up my motor in a major way.
Turns out she just moved in with her new boyfriend but she was coming to Hawaii a few weeks after I was leaving.  She asked me to stay around and see her.  I could have.  But we definitely would have banged and I didn’t want to ruin another one of her relationships.  Even after all this time I still want the best for her.
We have been texting on and off for the last few months.  I’m going to be in New York very soon for a speaking engagement and so I was planning on seeing her and who knows.  She already broke up with that boyfriend.  So this was the first time we were ever talking when she was single.
I don’t want to go into too much detail since this all happened in the last few months and it’s recent history etc.  But the things I’ve learned is that people really don’t change.  She is 100% the same girl I knew 5 years ago.  She still plays the same games.  She still has the same issues.  She still knows how to break my heart without feeling anything.
Now I have changed a LOT since the last go round.  This time I was texting her while texting a hot lesbian in Nashville AND a hot lesbian in DC.  So the power dynamic has changed.  The games don’t hurt me.
The main reason I even put up with this is that at my heart I am a scientist and I love to see how experiements play out so I can report back to all you guys.  And my conclusion is this dudes.  Don’t go back.  You need to only look forward.  As much history as I have with this girl it just ain’t worth it.
But I can tell you write now that she will email or text or skype me sometime in the next few months.  And I will be tempted.  But I know my brothers will stop me from poisoning myself.

Anything is Possible

I’m always looking for ways to push past my limits and improve myself in new areas. This is what separates me from 99% of the population. Most people are, unfortunately, stagnating. This is the way I live a lot of my life for a long time. I felt that improvement was only possible in some areas, I now realize that every aspect of your life can be controlled and improved.
One of my great goals in high school was to bench 135 pounds. By itself this number seems random, but if you have ever spent time in a weight room, you know that this is a common enemy. The benchpress bar weighs 45 pounds and the largest weights you can put on either side weight 45 pounds. So I always wanted to be able to put on the big weights.
At some point in my life, I guess I just gave up on that goal. It kind of drifted off and I became a person who would never bench that much weight.
On Friday, I was leaving the gym and walked past a couple of my buddies benching exactly 135. My first thought was damn my friends are stronger than me. But because they are good guys they brought me into the mix. I was like I can’t lift that much, it’s not possible for me. So I only benched 95 pounds. That’s a medium sized weight of 25 pounds on each side.
I hammered out 12 reps at that weight so my friends convinced me to try 135. I was like I’ll try guys but you better spot me because it’s way to heavy for me. I destroyed 135. Turns out that without realizing it, right now I am the strongest I have ever been in my entire life.
We threw on ten more pounds and I hammered out 3 reps of 145.
To some people that weight is nothing and to others it is amazing. The point is only about the goal relative to me. I have been pushing myself over the past year to get into better and better shape inside and out. And a side effect was bringing home another one of my dreams.
Now go out and bring home one of yours.

Hunting Alone

There are 5 reasons why every pickup artist should go to a bar alone to meet women. Hunting in packs is a classic mistake and it’s time for you to learn to avoid such a lame mistake. There is a reason that we all think snipers are so cool. They hunt alone. It’s all or nothing and it’s on there shoulders. They have no one to blame if they miss that crucial shot.
If you go out to a bar alone you will improve your life for five amazing reasons.
1. You are forced to go out of your shell. When you are in a group, you can have a nice average time without talking to another stranger. You just spend the whole night talking to your friends. When you are in a bar by yourself, you either talk to strangers or you stand their quiet and alone and very bored.
2. People are more likely to approach you. Think about when you want to walk up to a woman. It’s so much easier when she is standing alone than when she is with 10 of her closest friends. Other people feel the same way. When you are standing alone you are far less intimidating.
3. Going out in a pack of guys actually makes you look weak. Guys go out in groups not because they are confident, but because they are not brave enough to be alone. They only understand how other men think. We see strength in numbers. Women see strength in walking alone.
4. Going out alone makes you look confident and will help you to grow your confidence. One of the most beautiful women I ever met was on a night I was in a club alone. She told me that she was so impressed that I was so brave and that she would never have the confidence to go out alone. It actually made me more attractive to her.
5. When you go out in a group you are very likely to just stand there in a circle talking to your friends while not taking action. Your friends actually become an impediment to your success.
So give it a try. Take a few steps out of your shell and see how much people start to respect you and you start to meet the women of your dreams. This is one of the key steps in learning how to get a girlfriend fast.

Becoming Famous – A Story in Photos

I have always loved having my picture take.  It’s why my personal Facebook page has about 5000 photos and I have almost 3000 of me and my oneitis.  That’s right!  It might be a record in the dating world for most pictures with the girl who broke your heart.  So when a photojournalist emailed me asking if he could spend a week following me and documenting my life, of course I said yes.
After agreeing, I was a little bit nervous, because lately my primary focus has been on writing articles, posting on this blog and making it sexier, putting together training videos and having phone meetings with other dating companies.  Unfortunately, that is not very exciting on camera.  When I was teaching in London, I had from 5-10 students in field with me every single week, and let’s be honest watching guys hit on girls in bars is interesting as hell to watch.  Me typing at my computer, no so much.
So when Austin Anthony started following me that week I put out a call in Nashville.  I would give free training to anyone who was willing to let my photojournalist hang around.  The photos would be primarily of me and we would make sure not to reveal anyone’s secret identities.  Unfortunately, Nashville has the weakest pickup scene of any city I have ever been to.  So out of 200 guys I personally emailed only about 4 replied.  And all of them chickened out and didn’t show up in the end.
Fortunately, one of my students from a year ago called and was down to party.  It was awesome to see how far he has come along in the last year.  I’m very proud of how the photo project came out as well.  I didn’t change anything from my normal routine.  And so it’s one of the most accurate depictions of my life you could get, without spending a week trailing me.
Austin anthony never uses a flash when he takes his pictures.  He feels it can affect the events as they unfold.  He’s really serious about his craft and does everything he can to stay on the outside of events.  It was really interesting for me.  Like having a scientist there who doesn’t want to accidentally affect the experiment.  He has a really badass camera,  all big and professional.  And those can do things in low light that your average pocket camera just can’t do.  A ton of the pictures don’t come out because they are so dark, but the ones that do come out are REALLY revealing.  There were a couple of occasions where he got more than 20 pictures of me talking to a girl.
These are very valuable teaching tools because he actually captures the body language in a moment.  And it allows me to really see what my students are seeing.  I will be using a ton of these photos on here in the near future, as well as part of my teaching tools.